Trying to manage everyone’s expectations while at the same time making sure I allocate time to everything and everyone I love can be really difficult. It takes some serious planning, dedication and discipline to get it running like a well-oiled machine. Sometimes I do pretty good at it, but many times I can really suck at it too!
I will never trade any of it in though, not ever. I absolutely LOVE being a mother, spouse, friend, daughter and entrepreneur! Hey, and those are not in any particular order either for all you analytical types.
I find I have an obsessive/addictive type of personality though, which means I can get sucked into one of these areas (roles) pretty easily. This often happens in my work. When work is busy, Karen is at her happiest! But it can be really difficult to switch it off and turn my attention to something else, such as spending time with my husband or daughter. Of course I love my family and friends and things outside of work, but if I’m not paying attention sometimes those things fall off the radar.
So this is where work/life balance comes into play – something I am trying to improve!
Even making time for this blog is difficult. I have to set aside time to write, but also time to think and feel into what I want to write about.
Letting It All Go is important to me, and I need to fit it in somehow. It symbolizes a shift in my life. Some events that have occurred lately have influenced me to start this blog. One is meeting and spending time with an amazing woman (whom I now also have the honor of calling my amazing friend) – Bethany. Another is being exposed to KC Baker’s teachings (one of my clients).
Several things have occurred in the last so many years regarding my parents and extended family that have left me hurt, bitter, angry and supremely disappointed. I believe they have also affected me in other ways, such as self destruction (in not such a drastic way, but still an impactful way) and depression. I feel a strong urge to write about these experiences and how they have affected me, in order to be able to walk away from it all and just LET IT GO.
By letting go of these things that have been stewing inside of me, I know I will feel so free to move on with my life and put my energies to their best use.
You might wonder why I am starting a blog to talk about my personal shit… where literally anyone can read and comment on my personal life. Well, there are a few reasons. First, it helps me to be more accountable because I’m creating something that I’ll want to keep investing time and effort into. Second, I have things to say that I REALLY want other people to hear and have conversations on. Third, I love to write.
And there will likely be things I put out here that some people will read and get upset about. Especially when I write about my father. But it has to happen. I was going to type, “But I don’t care”. But that’s really not true. I care so much. I am tired of drama and games – NOTHING I do here is intended to cause either. I have to do this for myself. So please remember that when you are thinking about how something is affecting you. This is not about you.
This is about me. Letting it all go.
~KK
PS: I’ve re-read this post like 5x and still haven’t posted it. I’m a bit scared. This is my first post, and making it live really commits me to doing this. Holy shit… I have also decided that every time I post something I will include a photo of me of that day. Is this corny? I don’t care. I want to create something that my daughter can be proud of. Wow, did I just type that? Yes… as I write and do these things, I am thinking of how this will impact Sarah later on. Hmm.. so many thoughts going on right now.